Being the 21 year old that I am and living in America, quite often I find myself questioning how I look. Negative body image is a problem, if you may call it, an epidemic. An epidemic that has been happening since the dawn of time.
In years that precede me by at least a several hundred, women wore corsets to make this waist look smaller and their hips bigger ( bigger hips? I like what they were getting at) to appear more attractive because that was the style. My discontent with this situation was that these corsets were worn EVERY SINGLE DAY. You could equate that to how we wear a bra everyday but these women would push themselves over the boundaries of pain to appear beautiful whenever they were in public. Yes, people exercise and push themselves to the same limits, however, corset ladies did this to give their body a look that it could never naturally have.
Oddly, which isn't really so odd now that I think about it, I'm realizing that the constant body modifications that women put themselves through today is no different than before. Will a woman ever be 100% satisfied with her appearance? Maybe she can....until she sees someone who looks better. We as women will always see someone younger, older, bigger butt, smaller butt, great boobs, thin thighs, muscular thighs, cute nose, clearer skin, FLOTUS arms ( think Michelle Obama), flatter tummy, runway body, curves for days, or no curves at all and be envious.It is all a personal preference for what you define as beautiful.
It's depressing to think about how negative, jealous, and sad women get over their physical appearance. It depresses me to know that I too put down on myself simply because I don't look like I did when I was 17 or like that one girl I see walking on campus every day or ( I know that I share this with several others) Beyonce.
I can't give the solution to negative body image. I'm not even going to feed you crap about how you're beautiful on the inside and that's what matters. I am going to say that the sexiest, most intelligent thing a woman can do for herself is be confident. I know I just spent time writing about how we as women lose confidence in ourselves quite often and that it is difficult to have, but dammit confidence is definitely key.
That, and knowing what to wear to make yourself look good.
You don't like your thunder thighs? Your left cheekbone sits higher than the right? You can't gain or lose the weight in areas that you want to? Here's my solution: don't let anyone know that you care about those things because once you do, it shows and nobody likes the low self-esteem girl who brings up her body issues at the party. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do what you can to make yourself feel better, go ahead, go to the gym, get that boob job, but don't throw a public pity party about it; it makes you look bad.
My second solution: fake it until you mean it. Make people think that you are so confident in yourself, a reality show music competition judge couldn't phase you. You may not really feel like that on the inside, but eventually you will know this to be true. This is a tad bit tricky because you don't want to come off like a conceited ass monkey, but a poised, confident woman.
When I need to really pick myself up from whatever negative body image binge I'm feasting on that day I tell myself that I am my biggest critic, and nobody else sees what I see and that every negative thing I think about myself must verbally be turned around into a positive. I also stand in front of my bathroom mirror and say, " Holland. You are a boss chick...and your hypothetical dick could choke a bitch." Brings a chuckle.
Moral of this story is, you can be negative and envious, but the other 80% of the time must be spent on making yourself confident and that means telling yourself that you are and if you don't believe it pretend that you do until it is done. Don't accept yourself as Negative Nancy.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Sunday, April 28, 2013
I'm sorry, I don't need an MRS to provide for myself
I read today," Remember ladies, it doesn't matter how well you do on your finals as long as your future husband is acing his."
I felt slightly bad because my potential husband isn't even in college; he has actually dropped out twice.
Then I remembered that it does matter how well you do on your finals because you want to be a strong woman and contribute to the family income which includes a profitable business that your potential husband is in line to inherit.
No need for housewife status for me, I'm not that kind of girl.
It's nice knowing that you don't need an M.R.S to survive.
Yes, I am in a long-term relationship that can potentially turn into marriage, but that is not my security blanket. I am my security blanket. Most women need to realize that the only thing that can make you is yourself.
Yes, a man can give you the world and promise you everything and some men keep their promises. However, what happens when something goes bad? There are several hypothetical situations that could arise. He stops loving you. His income diminishes. He dies. You and only you are your security blanket. Placing all of your stock in a man is the worst thing you can do.
As you read this you probably think, " She's so anti-man, such a feminist, blahhhhh." No. I am not. I am however someone who knows that money is important to a certain degree and love is more important than anything when it comes to finding a life partner. You find yourself a man that WANTS to give you everything, even if he can't he will still love you to the moon and back. A man that wants to give you the world is a man worth keeping whether he can give it to you or not.
My second piece, ladies don't sit around soaking up all of the luxuries that he provides. Do something with yourself; contribute something. It is not necessary to have a job ( although it is what my personal preference is in this situation) but please do something. Volunteer, take care of the kids, make SURE that your kids are taken care of. Head a committee. Do absolutely anything that 1) helps you develop skills and 2) allows you to be able to say that you are more than a stereotypical housewife.
If being a housewife is your preference then that is fine. I wrote this to provoke thoughts and have women my age really think about where they want to place themselves in their lives and future households.
Better to think now than later when your husband leaves you in any form, shape or fashion.
I felt slightly bad because my potential husband isn't even in college; he has actually dropped out twice.
Then I remembered that it does matter how well you do on your finals because you want to be a strong woman and contribute to the family income which includes a profitable business that your potential husband is in line to inherit.
No need for housewife status for me, I'm not that kind of girl.
It's nice knowing that you don't need an M.R.S to survive.
Yes, I am in a long-term relationship that can potentially turn into marriage, but that is not my security blanket. I am my security blanket. Most women need to realize that the only thing that can make you is yourself.
Yes, a man can give you the world and promise you everything and some men keep their promises. However, what happens when something goes bad? There are several hypothetical situations that could arise. He stops loving you. His income diminishes. He dies. You and only you are your security blanket. Placing all of your stock in a man is the worst thing you can do.
As you read this you probably think, " She's so anti-man, such a feminist, blahhhhh." No. I am not. I am however someone who knows that money is important to a certain degree and love is more important than anything when it comes to finding a life partner. You find yourself a man that WANTS to give you everything, even if he can't he will still love you to the moon and back. A man that wants to give you the world is a man worth keeping whether he can give it to you or not.
My second piece, ladies don't sit around soaking up all of the luxuries that he provides. Do something with yourself; contribute something. It is not necessary to have a job ( although it is what my personal preference is in this situation) but please do something. Volunteer, take care of the kids, make SURE that your kids are taken care of. Head a committee. Do absolutely anything that 1) helps you develop skills and 2) allows you to be able to say that you are more than a stereotypical housewife.
If being a housewife is your preference then that is fine. I wrote this to provoke thoughts and have women my age really think about where they want to place themselves in their lives and future households.
Better to think now than later when your husband leaves you in any form, shape or fashion.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
6 Things you could do when you drop out of college
Here I am, it's rainy and wet and this is what I am going to do to waste time avoiding scholarship applications. I should go and write them because that's "free" money ( quotes are used because according to every economist, including my 12th grade teacher, nothing is free) .
As the sounds of TLC's greatest hits plays through my laptop I will compile a list of things that I could do instead of being in college. I'll channel past input from friends, strangers, and classmates who sob in the halls after class threatening to jump off of a bridge or become an exotic dancer after they have received their failing test grade. Which brings me to my first profession/ thing to do:
Any college student knows that if you need cash fast( and legally) you can always sell yourself on the stage. Even this guy did it, of course he had several other professions and this was a movie but whatever. No one that has stayed up all night writing 3 papers, completing an online quiz and studying for a test at 9 a.m. can say that they have not ever, not even once, said, "Eff this, I'm becoming a stripper." You failed your test? I bet you thought, "Eff that. I'm becoming a stripper." You have to walk to campus in 30 degree weather? Your response, "Eff that. I'm becoming a stripper" Your friend is having a mental breakdown and is under stress about how much stuff she has to get done during finals week? You bet your pretty little rumpshaker you probably consoled her and told her everything was going to be OK.
Then you said, " Hey, if all else fails you can become a stripper."
2. Live under a bridge down by the river
This is something that was told to every student by my high school English teacher whenever someone didn't want to put in the work to pass the class.
My Teacher: " Make sure you read chapters 3-10 in Things Fall Apart by tomorrow."
Class: (knowing that they had a week to do it) (collective grumble)
Teacher: " OK well when you drop out of high school because you didn't get your work done YOU CAN ALL GO LIVE IN A VAN UNDER A BRIDGE DOWN BY THE RIVER."
It was a thought that never effected me, but looking at the picture above, I'm coming to realize that I am not about that life. It could work for you however, but not me.
3. Band Roadie.
These guys look like they love life. Tattoos, witty t-shirts, fedoras and awkwardly high socks sounds like the way to go. The look on their faces says, "Hey. Drop out. Hang out with us. Share port-a-potties and fast food with us."
The many of nights spent on a euphoric high brought on by Redbull and the weird rush from the rattle of the speakers will probably cause you to get a tattoo of Betty White on a dare. But that's OK because you are living your dreams.
4. Sit on Twitter all day
Which is funny because this is what I already do on the reg. Mix this in with Facebook and Pinterest and you've got me. The Internet is a marvelous thing, so great to waste time on. You learn so much. Like the wise words from Zach Braff, "Hands don't choke people. People with hands choke people." Or how to turn a t-shirt into a dress, or the unknown facts from the Indiana Jones movies.
5. Hipster
I shall not care about the establishment, but the environment. My wardrobe shall consist of the thrift shop and Urban Outfitters. I will ride bikes, longboards or drive a Prius. Soy lattes only for this hipster girl. Austin is where I'll reside. Well that's kinda where I'm from anyways so it works out. I'll listen to indie bands and discuss English literature, looking down on those who only discuss the latest tabloid news and Jersey Shore. I'll date guys with mustaches and a need to help the children in Haiti. Vegan or Vegetarian?That will be my choice.
Who am I kidding? I'm a real Texas girl. I want my meat. I think soy lattes are gross and English lit makes my brain hurt.
Wait, most hipsters I know actually go to college so they can overpower everyone else with their intelligence. OK, you can be an intelligent hipster or one that works at Starbucks. Your choice.
6. Reality Star
For doing this.
This.
More of this.
Some of this.
A little bit of that.
And some of this more of this.
And then, when people waste their time looking up pictures on the Internet of me doing random things I will laugh myself all the way to the bank.
Just like this.
As the sounds of TLC's greatest hits plays through my laptop I will compile a list of things that I could do instead of being in college. I'll channel past input from friends, strangers, and classmates who sob in the halls after class threatening to jump off of a bridge or become an exotic dancer after they have received their failing test grade. Which brings me to my first profession/ thing to do:
1. Stripper
Any college student knows that if you need cash fast( and legally) you can always sell yourself on the stage. Even this guy did it, of course he had several other professions and this was a movie but whatever. No one that has stayed up all night writing 3 papers, completing an online quiz and studying for a test at 9 a.m. can say that they have not ever, not even once, said, "Eff this, I'm becoming a stripper." You failed your test? I bet you thought, "Eff that. I'm becoming a stripper." You have to walk to campus in 30 degree weather? Your response, "Eff that. I'm becoming a stripper" Your friend is having a mental breakdown and is under stress about how much stuff she has to get done during finals week? You bet your pretty little rumpshaker you probably consoled her and told her everything was going to be OK.
Then you said, " Hey, if all else fails you can become a stripper."
2. Live under a bridge down by the river
My Teacher: " Make sure you read chapters 3-10 in Things Fall Apart by tomorrow."
Class: (knowing that they had a week to do it) (collective grumble)
Teacher: " OK well when you drop out of high school because you didn't get your work done YOU CAN ALL GO LIVE IN A VAN UNDER A BRIDGE DOWN BY THE RIVER."
It was a thought that never effected me, but looking at the picture above, I'm coming to realize that I am not about that life. It could work for you however, but not me.
3. Band Roadie.
These guys look like they love life. Tattoos, witty t-shirts, fedoras and awkwardly high socks sounds like the way to go. The look on their faces says, "Hey. Drop out. Hang out with us. Share port-a-potties and fast food with us."
The many of nights spent on a euphoric high brought on by Redbull and the weird rush from the rattle of the speakers will probably cause you to get a tattoo of Betty White on a dare. But that's OK because you are living your dreams.
4. Sit on Twitter all day
5. Hipster
I shall not care about the establishment, but the environment. My wardrobe shall consist of the thrift shop and Urban Outfitters. I will ride bikes, longboards or drive a Prius. Soy lattes only for this hipster girl. Austin is where I'll reside. Well that's kinda where I'm from anyways so it works out. I'll listen to indie bands and discuss English literature, looking down on those who only discuss the latest tabloid news and Jersey Shore. I'll date guys with mustaches and a need to help the children in Haiti. Vegan or Vegetarian?That will be my choice.
Who am I kidding? I'm a real Texas girl. I want my meat. I think soy lattes are gross and English lit makes my brain hurt.
Wait, most hipsters I know actually go to college so they can overpower everyone else with their intelligence. OK, you can be an intelligent hipster or one that works at Starbucks. Your choice.
6. Reality Star
And then, when people waste their time looking up pictures on the Internet of me doing random things I will laugh myself all the way to the bank.
Just like this.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
A bit of a Blog, A bit of my dreams
So this is blogging.
I've never really had a blog before, just absent minded thoughts that I post to Facebook and Twitter. Oh, Myspace was a thing once upon a time. I guess I will use this blog to jot my creative thoughts. Well, those that I would like to share because my blog is public and I would like to save the really good ones for a screenplay or a book.
Here are my dreams:
Write a book.
Write a screenplay.
Have a kid... eventually... when I am ok with the thought of a stretched out vagina and living thing inside of me.
Have a cute kid. Hey, you have to be specific with your wants.
Make an egg sandwich. This is a dream that I can achieve in the next 10 minutes if I will rise above my laziness and get off of my ass and go to the microwave and cook it ( I live in a dorm).
Coordinate music festivals like ACL and SXSW or Bonnaro.
Walk a red carpet...or a pink one. I guess I've walked a pink carpet before because I have one in my closet.
What the hell am I supposed to do with this? I think way too much under a daily basis to get to a computer fast enough and write out my blog. What am I even using this for?
Oh yeah.
Postmortem notoriety.
I've never really had a blog before, just absent minded thoughts that I post to Facebook and Twitter. Oh, Myspace was a thing once upon a time. I guess I will use this blog to jot my creative thoughts. Well, those that I would like to share because my blog is public and I would like to save the really good ones for a screenplay or a book.
Here are my dreams:
Write a book.
Write a screenplay.
Have a kid... eventually... when I am ok with the thought of a stretched out vagina and living thing inside of me.
Have a cute kid. Hey, you have to be specific with your wants.
Make an egg sandwich. This is a dream that I can achieve in the next 10 minutes if I will rise above my laziness and get off of my ass and go to the microwave and cook it ( I live in a dorm).
Coordinate music festivals like ACL and SXSW or Bonnaro.
Walk a red carpet...or a pink one. I guess I've walked a pink carpet before because I have one in my closet.
What the hell am I supposed to do with this? I think way too much under a daily basis to get to a computer fast enough and write out my blog. What am I even using this for?
Oh yeah.
Postmortem notoriety.
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