6 Things you could do when you drop out of college

Here I am, it's rainy and wet and this is what I am going to do to waste time avoiding scholarship applications. I should go and write them because that's "free" money ( quotes are used because according to every economist, including my 12th grade teacher, nothing is free) .
As the sounds of TLC's greatest hits plays through my laptop I will compile a list of things that I could do instead of being in college. I'll channel past input from friends, strangers, and classmates who sob in the halls after class threatening to jump off of a bridge or become an exotic dancer after they have received their failing test grade. Which brings me to my first profession/ thing to do:

1. Stripper

Any college student knows that if you need cash fast( and legally) you can always sell yourself on the stage. Even this guy did it, of course he had several other professions and this was a movie but whatever. No one that has stayed up all night writing 3 papers, completing an online quiz and studying for a test at 9 a.m. can say that they have not ever, not even once, said, "Eff this, I'm becoming a stripper." You failed your test? I bet you thought, "Eff that. I'm becoming a stripper." You have to walk to campus in 30 degree weather? Your response, "Eff that. I'm becoming a stripper"  Your friend is having a mental breakdown and is under stress about how much stuff she has to get done during finals week? You bet your pretty little rumpshaker you probably consoled her and told her everything was going to be OK.

Then you said, " Hey, if all else fails you can become a stripper."

2. Live under a bridge down by the river

This is something that was told to every student by my high school English teacher whenever someone didn't want to put in the work to pass the class.
My Teacher: " Make sure you read chapters 3-10 in Things Fall Apart by tomorrow."
Class: (knowing that they had a week to do it) (collective grumble)
Teacher: " OK  well when you drop out of high school because you didn't get your work done YOU CAN ALL GO LIVE IN A VAN UNDER A BRIDGE DOWN BY THE RIVER."

It was a thought that never effected me, but looking at the picture above, I'm coming to realize that I am not about that life. It could work for you however, but not me.

3. Band Roadie.

These guys look like they love life. Tattoos, witty t-shirts, fedoras and awkwardly high socks sounds like the way to go. The look on their faces says, "Hey. Drop out. Hang out with us. Share port-a-potties and fast food with us."
The many of nights spent on a euphoric high brought on by Redbull and the weird rush from the rattle of the speakers will probably cause you to get a tattoo of Betty White on a dare. But that's OK  because you are living your dreams.

4. Sit on Twitter all day

Which is funny because this is what I already do on the reg. Mix this in with Facebook and Pinterest and you've got me. The Internet is a marvelous thing, so great to waste time on. You learn so much. Like the wise words from Zach Braff, "Hands don't choke people. People with hands choke people." Or how to turn a t-shirt into a dress, or the unknown facts from the Indiana Jones movies.

5. Hipster

I shall not care about the establishment, but the environment. My wardrobe shall consist of the thrift shop and Urban Outfitters. I will ride bikes, longboards or drive a Prius. Soy lattes only for this hipster girl. Austin is where I'll reside. Well that's kinda where I'm from anyways so it works out. I'll listen to indie bands and discuss English literature, looking down on  those who only discuss the latest tabloid news and Jersey Shore. I'll date guys with mustaches and a need to help the children in Haiti. Vegan or Vegetarian?That will be my choice.
Who am I kidding? I'm a real Texas girl. I want my meat. I think soy lattes are gross and English lit makes my brain hurt.
Wait, most hipsters I know actually go to college so they can overpower everyone else with their intelligence.   OK, you can be an intelligent hipster or one that works at Starbucks. Your choice.

6. Reality Star

For doing this.

This.

More of this.

Some of this.

A little bit of that.

And some of this more of this.

And then, when people waste their time looking up pictures on the Internet of me doing random things I will laugh myself all the way to the bank.
Just like this.