Being the 21 year old that I am and living in America, quite often I find myself questioning how I look. Negative body image is a problem, if you may call it, an epidemic. An epidemic that has been happening since the dawn of time.
In years that precede me by at least a several hundred, women wore corsets to make this waist look smaller and their hips bigger ( bigger hips? I like what they were getting at) to appear more attractive because that was the style. My discontent with this situation was that these corsets were worn EVERY SINGLE DAY. You could equate that to how we wear a bra everyday but these women would push themselves over the boundaries of pain to appear beautiful whenever they were in public. Yes, people exercise and push themselves to the same limits, however, corset ladies did this to give their body a look that it could never naturally have.
Oddly, which isn't really so odd now that I think about it, I'm realizing that the constant body modifications that women put themselves through today is no different than before. Will a woman ever be 100% satisfied with her appearance? Maybe she can....until she sees someone who looks better. We as women will always see someone younger, older, bigger butt, smaller butt, great boobs, thin thighs, muscular thighs, cute nose, clearer skin, FLOTUS arms ( think Michelle Obama), flatter tummy, runway body, curves for days, or no curves at all and be envious.It is all a personal preference for what you define as beautiful.
It's depressing to think about how negative, jealous, and sad women get over their physical appearance. It depresses me to know that I too put down on myself simply because I don't look like I did when I was 17 or like that one girl I see walking on campus every day or ( I know that I share this with several others) Beyonce.
I can't give the solution to negative body image. I'm not even going to feed you crap about how you're beautiful on the inside and that's what matters. I am going to say that the sexiest, most intelligent thing a woman can do for herself is be confident. I know I just spent time writing about how we as women lose confidence in ourselves quite often and that it is difficult to have, but dammit confidence is definitely key.
That, and knowing what to wear to make yourself look good.
You don't like your thunder thighs? Your left cheekbone sits higher than the right? You can't gain or lose the weight in areas that you want to? Here's my solution: don't let anyone know that you care about those things because once you do, it shows and nobody likes the low self-esteem girl who brings up her body issues at the party. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do what you can to make yourself feel better, go ahead, go to the gym, get that boob job, but don't throw a public pity party about it; it makes you look bad.
My second solution: fake it until you mean it. Make people think that you are so confident in yourself, a reality show music competition judge couldn't phase you. You may not really feel like that on the inside, but eventually you will know this to be true. This is a tad bit tricky because you don't want to come off like a conceited ass monkey, but a poised, confident woman.
When I need to really pick myself up from whatever negative body image binge I'm feasting on that day I tell myself that I am my biggest critic, and nobody else sees what I see and that every negative thing I think about myself must verbally be turned around into a positive. I also stand in front of my bathroom mirror and say, " Holland. You are a boss chick...and your hypothetical dick could choke a bitch." Brings a chuckle.
Moral of this story is, you can be negative and envious, but the other 80% of the time must be spent on making yourself confident and that means telling yourself that you are and if you don't believe it pretend that you do until it is done. Don't accept yourself as Negative Nancy.
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